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1. I am getting so old I can’t remember who ties up who!!2. “The Golden Years” The only thing gold about the golden years is the color of my piss!!!3. At my age, I wake up in bed in the morning, Hold my arms outwards and if I can’t feel the sides of the box, I get up!!!Why is it that diapers for babies are LUVS or HUGGIES. But for old folks its DEPENDS? I guess it DEPENDS who is in the will!Compliments of a Friend of J & G:A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests.For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman. The cowboy spent the night with the woman.The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled “You stupid horse! I said ‘posse!’”What. Papa ne didi ko bolke rakha tha ke unake 4 dost aane wale hai to sabke liye mutton banake rakho.Papa ne mutton lakar diya aur wo bahar chale gaye sharab aur dosto ko lane ke liye.Papa ke dosto ka naam sunate hi didi ki aakho me maine chamak dekhi thi. Shayad didi khush ho gai thi.Raat ke 8 baje papa air unake dost aaye aur hall mai unka daru ka programe chalu ho gaya. Bich mai pani,ice,snack khatm ho jata to papa didi ko lane ko kehte they.Sharab pine ka man mera bhi ho raha tha maine apane room mai chupayi hui daru nikali aur mai bhi pine baith gaya …. Thodi der baad achanak se didi meri kamare mai aa gai aur usane muze range hath pakad liya . Usane dhamki de di ki wo papa ko sab bata degi ke tu daru pi raha tha . Maine use khub minnate ki … Mafi mangi .. Baad mai usane ek shart rakhi ke agar mai usako bhi pine ko daru de du to wo papa ko nahi batayegi.Usane kaha ke use bhi daru try karani hai …. To fir kya hum dono ne milkar khub daru pi… Didi ke aakho mai nasha dikhane laga… Fir wo.
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The voice repeated itself.Do it.Strip.For him.Now.She turned to face him as she raised her hands behind her back. She felt the knot there and found the loose string. One little tug would be all it would take.One little tug.Her heart was beating furiously, the blood rushing through her ears as she stood in the harsh light on the stage, fingering the knot against her back. Did she have the courage? Could she really do it?Then came the banging of the gavel. ?Sold! To the Sigs! Your second purchase of the night! Thank you, gentlemen!?Jasmine smiled and turned, exiting the stage. Apparently someone had thought enough of her to steal her away from another fraternity. Or had thought less of the first girl they had purchased. She wondered who the unfortunate wench could be. The poor girl would be devastated.She stood at the registration table, the sorority’s clerk recording her collar number as property of the Sigs. She looked to see what her purchase price had been, but the light was.

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